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Two months ago I went to a hospital appointment thinking I would pick up some antibiotics for what I thought was a pretty benign bladder infection. Instead I was told that I have a ‘massive’ cancerous tumour on my adrenal gland, which has spread to other organs and is pretty advanced. As I was not really showing any symptoms this was quite a shock and to say that the last few weeks have been a whirlwind would be an understatement; trying to adapt to the ‘new normal’. It has been a blur of hospital appointments and scans, stopping work, moving house, starting chemotherapy and getting my head around the diagnosis, whilst also living in the bizarre reality where it looked like football might actually be coming home.
I’m now two weeks into the first cycle of treatment which could last up to 6 months. I’ve learnt that cancer brings constant uncertainty and I have no idea how the next few months are going to go, but I’m generally quite a positive and pragmatic guy and feeling relatively good, both physically and mentally. I have amazing support from family, friends and work which makes things so much easier. For me, it’s about accepting what you can’t control and enjoying life in the meantime.
I’m not one who typically shares their life on social media and don’t want any inflow of sympathy or to be considered brave for the simple act of having cancer. But I’m currently shredding hairs like an old dog and was planning on taking the hit and shaving my head in the next few days anyway. So I figured I might as well take the opportunity to update people with what’s going on and also potentially raise money and awareness for an incredible charity.
Macmillan are well known for the work they do and probably need no introduction to most people - the support they offer cancer patients is really amazing. But it’s when you are having a mild panic attack at 8pm on a Friday night and there is somebody on the end of the phone, volunteering their time to calm your anxieties and answer your questions, that you realise what an invaluable job they do. They are a charity I fully support and would love you to as well.
Anyone who knows me knows how smug I’ve been about having a gloriously thick head of hair to this point and how ridiculous I’m going to look bald, so I guess this is karma. I’m going to try and hold on for a few more days and take the clippers to it on Thursday where I will be sporting a new, more extra terrestrial look. :)
Update: I think the end result is that I look like a hybrid between a friendly adolescent monk and an extra from American History X. This will take some getting used to.
Thank you so much to everyone who has donated and for all the messages of support. It was a last minute decision to post this on facebook but I'm so glad I did - mostly due to the amount it's raised but also because of the amazing response it's received.